Exile
by KortneyBreAnne
Summary: Jaina left to fight in the Mandalorian wars, disobeying the Order and her family, over ten years ago. After being exiled from the order she chose to bear her past on her own. Now new evils are spreading across the galaxy, and she must return in order to save the Alliance and everybody she's ever loved. Crossover of KOTOR1&2/SW:Fate of the Jedi [JainaExile/Atton]
1. Chapter 1

"You understand why we have brought you here, Solo?" Master Zez-Kai El's voice was detached and cold. I was standing inside the council's room, on trial. I felt unnaturally cold for some reason. The walls I had once considered homely, were blank and unfriendly now. I was beyond any measure of doubt sure; I was no longer welcome here. But still, I could only hope to somehow atone for the terrors I had committed.

"You did not bring me here, I came to you of my own free will, remember master?" I spoke softly to the council.

"Why," Master Lonna Vash cut Master Vrook off, "Why do you still refer to us as your masters, do you not follow Revan and Malak now? Have you not fallen to the sith, just as they?" It was a just question. If I were them, I too would assume the worse of me. I had done terrifyingly terrible things during the war. Things I could only hope to one day atone for. They were right to assume I had fallen past redemption, but I hadn't. I hope to restore my place with the Jedi.

"No, I didn't." I told them with certainty. I put every bit of faith I had into my friends, my allies, they would see I did what I had to. They would help me redeem myself. I had to trust that they could help me find peace with my actions. It was a great deal of expectations to put on their shoulders, but I had to.

Even as I thought this, I could tell by their faces that most of them were disgusted, revolted even, by my presence. All they could see was a traitor. A Jedi too weak to stand resolute against the dark side, too weak even to continue down that path once Revan disappeared.

I turned my attention to the only person who I could rely on to be on my side, "Please Uncle Luke," He refused to look at me. He kept his eyes firmly locked into the distance, watching the daily activity of Coruscant. I continued anyways, "You must see my side of this. I would never betray you like that. You're my family, I love you all" He turned his head to me, and I wished he wouldn't have. His face was cold. Detached. It was clear to me then that he too, thought I was capable of being a sith. I felt like someone had shot a blaster at me. Aimed directly at my heart. The pain radiated within me, and I'm almost sure that any Jedi within the conclave could feel it.

"If you really do not follow in Revan and Malak's footsteps, then why did you follow them into the war? After the council specifically told all Jedi not to" My dearest friend, Master Kavar, asked me. I could sense he blamed himself, no not even just that, but his teachings as well, for my actions. I wanted more than anything for them to understand. It was nothing that they did that caused me to go to war. It was more like the lack of action on their part that fueled me. I knew the Alliance needed the Jedi to help defend them. That was our duty, wasn't it? _Jedi use their powers to defend and to protect. _I had heard my uncle repeat those lines hundreds of times during my life. Is that not what I was doing when I followed Revan?

I chose my words wisely as I answered their question, "I followed them because the Mandalorians were slaughtering _millions_ of innocent people in the outer rim. They were the only ones who saw that if we, as Jedi, did not lend them our power, that the republic would fall to the control of the Mandalorians. While you and the rest of the council sat here waiting for the echos of death to reach you _we_ were right there, saving everyone that we could." Their faces were unchanged by my words, words that still brought fire to my chest thinking about them. I turned to my uncle. Surely he would understand. He had been the pivotal leader in destroying the Empire. He knew what it was like to see that kind of carnage. He grew up during the age of the Empire. Had he forgotten it in all these years of peace? "Uncle Luke, you must understand what that feels like! You saved the republic, and helped rebuild it. All of that was at stake!" I felt empowered by my words. I could feel my belief and trust in my words filling me up with confidence, making me almost forget the terrible ache in my chest. All my emotions were heightened. _Control yourself_, I told myself. _Don't allow your emotions to destroy your argument, you're trying to convince them you're __**not **__a sith, not out of control, that you're still capable of being a Jedi._ I felt the rage that they would not listen to me, burn through me. I knew this feeling was wrong, it was a feeling of the dark side, but I could not control it. I closed my eyes, and breathed in deeply. _There is no emotion, there is peace. _I repeated the Jedi mantra a few times until I felt my emotions in check once more. Even if I was no longer raging, they still had to see their flaws. I continued where I left off, "This war was equal to the clone wars with the carnage and destruction it brought to the people of the Alliance. The Alliance was not strong enough to fight without us, they _needed _their protectors. We can't just sit back and detach ourselves like they did back then. The Republic fell to the Empire, because the Jedi did not support them. Did not guide them. We allowed selfish, evil, and horrible people to fill the positions as senators, we should be a part of those decisions, if we are to protect the Alliance from crumbling like the Republic before it."

Uncle Luke finally looked up at me. "That is not our place. Jedi serve others rather than rule over them, for the good of the galaxy. We only asked for caution and time, to consider this war more closely. Instead Revan and Malak convinced so many padawans and master's alike to follow them... Even you. You all met the Mandalorian's brute force with your own brute force in return. Have you not wondered how many more people might have died, because the Jedi intervened?"

I had. I had and I knew that thinking about it was a waste of time. All it did was fill you with doubt. Doubt and fear. During a war I didn't have that kind of luxury, everyday was a day that could be your last. In that situation suddenly _what if_ becomes a lot less important, "You can't think in such ways. No one can fully see the future not even you, Uncle" I paused, knowing this conversation could not last forever, and it seemed to be getting me no where, "I suspect you did not purely call upon me to ask of my opinions of the war." I braced myself for the worst. I knew the chances of them allowing me to rejoin them were slim, but perhaps they could give me a different task. Perhaps I could serve them as something other than a knight?

When I was younger I had shuddered at the idea of joining one of the Jedi corps, but now I would gladly trade my saber in for a life of agriculture or medical training. There were far worse fates, and I could atleast atone for the atrocities of my past by serving the people of the Alliance in one form or another. After all, I have my entire life to make up for...for everything I did. I bowed my head, waiting for them to continue.

"No," Master Kavar answered me. "No, we did not. We have called you here to see if you had fallen to the dark side. You might not follow Revan and Malak," I sighed in relief. I'm glad they atleast see that much. He continued on, "-_now_, but you are too dangerous to be around any Jedi," My head shot up. Panic filled my body. What are they saying? They can't be...

"-And because of that," Master Vash continued, "You are, from here on, to be exiled from all Alliance space. You are also not to come within 10 light years of any Force sensitive temples, nor are you to form a order of your own, do you except your punishment?"

My eyes filled to the brim with tears. "My - my parents... and my brothers... I'll- I will never see them again..." I spoke softly, mostly to myself. I could see now that the council did not think I was worthy of or capable of redemption.

"Once a 25 year sentence has passed, you may return to us here on Coruscant, where we will reconsider your Exile status."

I felt a single tear race down my cheek. While I was understandable angry about this, I couldn't refute them. They knew what was best for the Alliance. I had turned against them, fought against them in the past and I can't do it again, "I accept and trust in your decision, I'll leave immediately" I turned to exit the room.

"Wait" Master Vrook called to me, "Your lightsaber. You must hand it over to us. You must not have any ties to the Jedi order."

My hand tightened around my lightsaber. It was** my** lightsaber. The first lesson of being a Jedi (after the 'don't cut off your head with you own lightsaber' one) was your lightsaber is a part of who you are, it **is** your life. To give over your lightsaber is like giving up your life. Not too mention it was a part of my blood to be a jedi. I was literally giving away my identity. Who was I, if not a jedi? A sith? Is there anything you can be, other than Jedi and Sith? I had never been taught about them. I pulled it out of its holster, and I literally handed my life over to them. I let it slip through my hand and fall to the ground. The clattering sounds of it hitting the floor, echoed eerily in my ears, as I walked out of the Council Room, for what I knew, would most likely be the last time.

* * *

"You were right, Grand Master. She's, I don't know how to explain it. It's like she's not even there. The force is just gone from her" Lonna Vash watched as her friend walked out of her life. For some strange, cold reason she felt like she had just been in the presence of death. Not just any death, but the death of the force itself. And she knew, although however very unlikely it might seem, this would not be the last time the council would see **Jaina Solo**.

* * *

**AN: **Okay, so, hi. This is my third time uploading this story (Each time has been with different ideas) but this time I think I have found my muse for it. I've got it all planned out. This is basically kind of a 'what if' cross over. It's not at all canon. I wish it was. I recently read the Revan book by Drew Karpyshyn, and I was... I was pretty disappointed. I really feel like he could have done a much better job (or atleast given our beloved characters a more dignified ending, and for the love of god, a little bit of a shout out to all of us Atton/Exile shippers out here. He could have atleast had her _think _about him for a split second. It could have been less than a sentence, just said his name, and I would have been satisfied. And **Meetra? **Really? That's the best name he could come up with? When I played the game for the first time I named her Serena Varik. Never anything like Meetra. Ugh.) But yeah, that book has me on a rampage, so I scrapped my last attempt and I'm on a roll with this one. I'm really trying my best here to mush together two completely different story lines in two completely different timelines and make one fabulous fanfiction. Why? Because I can never just settle for something easy, and I kinda fell in love with the idea of Jaina being the exile. I plan on giving everyone a bit of the glory from both of the games, and quite a bit from other Star Wars novels that I have read, so yeah, give it a chance. (:

If you have any questions, just ask! I'll do my best to answer without giving away the whole story.

*Seriously though, he didn't even mention Carth or Atton at all in the entire book. What the heck.*


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two. **The Unforgotten Past.**

I shot up from my small bed, with sweat covering my entire body, my ears pounding, and my entire body aching. I felt like I was going to throw up, with the heat of this planet pushing down on me and the pounding in my head. It was not the first time I had woken up like this, and I knew it would never be my last. The screams from my nightmare seemed to be echoing in this small rental room.

Like always my dreams were plagued by memories of the Mandalorian wars. It had been nearly ten years since the wars, but it never changed. I could still feel the cold emptiness in my chest that froze me to the core. The same emptiness that took up residence inside of me during Malachor V. No matter how much time went by I would never forget it. It was a part of me now. That death. That destruction. I could never atone for my crimes, so instead I decided to bear it.

I decided to live on, bearing it, and doing my best to stay away from others. I was no longer Jaina Solo, the twin to Jacen, the sister of Anakin, the daughter of the famous Han and Leia Solo. I embraced my new identity, the one the council had passed upon me. I am the Exile. So I live as an exile would live. Traveling from planet to planet. A faceless traveler, with no place nor home to return to. No one to look to when I was alone.

Sometimes I would be blessed, and my dreams would not be of the war. Sometimes they would be of my family. Silly little memories from my child hood. Like going on 'adventures' with my brothers, when really all we were doing was sneaking around the Temple where our parents had told us to stay out of. Sometimes it would just be my mother. We would stare at each other for what seemed like hours. I would be frozen in the spot, unable to move, or speak, as my mother's gaze would slowly turn from loving to despising me. I wouldn't need to hear the words to know what her gaze was saying. Her eyes said that nobody could love someone who did what I did.

Sometimes those dreams were worse than the nightmares.

Tonight was not one of those dreams. Thank the goddess. Tonight was just another one of my endless memories of the war. I knew I couldn't go back to sleep, so instead I chose to get out of bed. I had been on this planet long enough. I was nearing my second fortnight on this strange planet. It was longer than I usually chose to stay, but this world had captured my interest. It was past the outskirts of the Alliance. Far enough away that Alliance credits were not useable here, like many of the places I passed through. I did my best to attain a lively hood. Normally working little strange jobs locals needed done. Some would call me a mercenary, others a bounty hunter, but they were wrong. I just did what I had to to stay alive. I had a burden to bear and I couldn't shirk that responsibility by dying now.

I slowly stood up from the bed, letting the covers fall to the floor beside me. I stretched my arms, feeling and hearing the pops as my bones repositioned themselves. I walked over to the refresher to clean myself up. The sweat and dirt that accumulated on my body from this world was in dire need of being washed off. Even I was beginning to disgust myself.

So I washed up as quickly as I could, but I needed to relax myself. My body was too on edge from the terrors of my dream, my muscles were too tight to be able to go on with my day. So I stayed in the water until it finally turned cold. When I stepped out I looked into the cracked and dirty mirror in my room.

My hair was still wet, and fell a little past my shoulders in a curly mess. My skin was pasty and sickly looking. I couldn't even remember the last time I looked in the mirror and saw my skin back to it's old golden tone. Even my hair was a different color. It was dulled. Almost lifeless looking. Everything about me was dull and lifeless. But nothing more lifeless than my eyes. They were just empty. Void of any emotion or spark. The brown color that I had gotten from my mother was a sad excuse of brown now. My eyes were always surrounded by unattractive bags from my lack of sleep.

Not that I cared about being attractive. Who did I have to impress? Nobody. That's who.

It was just hard to believe that I was ever Jaina Solo, a girl with life, a destiny, a fire that burned brighter than any of the other padawans in her year. She was a star pupil, and now I'm just a nobody. A nobody with no one to care for, no life to really take pride in.

I eventually forced my self away from the mirror and over to my bag. I didn't have much, Jedi didn't believe in being materialistic, not that I was a Jedi anymore, but their teachings were harder to kick than you would think. So I just had the basics; a few changes of clothes, two blasters, a brush, and my emergency Alliance credits. I hadn't needed them in years, but you could never be too safe. I picked out my cleanest clothes and put them on. They weren't the most attractive things in the world but the brown leather pants worked well against most weather, my black combat boots kept my feet warm and safe from water, and my red top was better than nothing. I had very little armor, but I so far hadn't needed any in my travels, thankfully. It was better safe than sorry, I thought to myself as I pulled on my black bantha hide jacket, and tied my blaster holster around my waist.

It might sound strange, but as I buckled the holster, my hands ached. They missed my saber, even after all these years. They just weren't content with using blasters, when they knew the wonderful hum of a saber within their grasp. I forced myself to ignore my body and the mirror taunting me in the corner as I headed out of the rental room. I dropped the keys on the counter of the cantina I had rented from, without stopping to talk to the owner.

I walked out into the streets of this strange and nearly empty planet. Its dense and near inhabitable forest covered surface had very few spaceports and settlements. Something about the planet had sparked my interest though. There was something so alive about it. I had past through many different places in my exile, but looking back at them now they all seemed to just blend together. Colorless, shapeless blurs inhabited by many different species that were dulled by my senses. This world was slightly different. My surroundings had more color then I had grown accustomed to since the Mandalorian wars. I felt slightly more alive.

I think that's why I've stuck around so long. I actually like it here. I had so few people around me at any point in the day. Only the truly desperate chose to stay on this dangerous planet. Just because I felt more alive here didn't make it any less dangerous. The forests surrounding the small village I had chosen to stay at were riddled with dangers you couldn't even imagine. Villagers disappeared often around these parts, especially if you stayed out past dark. That was when the beasts chose to prowl.

I was almost to the spaceport when a scream brought me to a complete stop. My body was instantly on edge, ready for anything. It sounded like it came from the forest. I adjusted the strap of my bag so that it wouldn't fall off in a battle, and headed towards the noise. I pulled my blasters out as I neared the scene.

From behind a tree, I leaned over to check out the situation. A woman, a few years older than myself, was being held against a tree by a slimy oversized lizard. It must have been against her will, considering she was crying. They weren't alone either. The Chazrach, the oversized lizard, brought plenty of his friends with him. I hadn't seen Chazrach so far away from Yuuzhan Vong before. They typically chose to stay near their slavers.

"Please, please just let me go." The woman whimpered, "I'll give you all the credits you want."

The slime balls just laughed their hiss-like laugh.

I aimed my blaster directly at the sleaze holding the woman against the tree. When I was sure I had him, and wouldn't shoot her on accident, I took the shot. He hadn't seen it coming, and fell down to the ground, dead. The woman stared at his dead body, completely shocked.

The other Chazrach spun around, hissing. I walked out from behind the tree with my blasters poised. I looked at the woman, "Get out of here. Now."

I didn't have to say it twice. The woman ran as fast as she could.

As soon as the Chazrach laid their eyes on me they instantly relaxed. I guess they assumed they had nothing to fear from a woman. They were wrong. One of them near the center glared at me, "You. You killed our leader." He said in his native tongue. I thankfully had learned most galactic languages during my training so I was able to reply.

"Whoops. Sorry." I said, "Oh wait, no, I'm not." I shrugged, still holding my blaster up.

They all hissed, and the one who spoke, spoke again, "How dare you speak so brisk. You will be sorry, when we're through with you." He growled, "I will-"

"Torture, maim, kill me? Make me wish I was never born?" I yawned, "Boring."

His lizard like tongue slid out of his mouth and licked his lips, wait, did lizards have lips? I pondered it for a moment before bringing my attention back to the Chazrach, "Such a mouthy woman. I will cut out your tongue and wear it as a trophy." He took a step towards me.

I didn't even stop to think, I simply reacted. I shot off at him and got him right in the eye. All hell broke loose. I managed to shoot down two more before the other three circled me. They were strong. Their limbs shot out in direct hits that I managed to dodge, but left me on the defensive. Their bulk slowed them down considerably. So I used it against them. One came running directly towards me, in an attempt to tackle me against a tree. As it came barreling closer I jumped, using it's back to push myself off and kick another of them. The one who ran at me went directly into the tree head first and fell to the ground knocked out. Dead, most likely. The impact should have broken its neck.

Four down, two more to go. They decided to attack from both sides, but I easily slipped past them and used to chance to shoot them when they ran into each other. It was just too easy.

Just as I was about to put away my blasters I heard the rustling of leaves behind me.

I spun around quickly, aiming my blasters towards to the sound. Had there been more Chazrachs?

"Wait! Don't shoot!" A woman, a different one not the one from earlier, yelled from behind a tree. She reached her arm out and waved a white tissue frantically, "I'm not here to hurt you! I just need to talk to you."

I refrained from shooting, but didn't lower my blasters, "Show yourself." I demanded.

She peaked cautiously around the edge, just barely enough to see me (but not long enough for me to see her) before frantically hiding again, "Why don't you put down your blasters and _then _I'll show myself." She said cautiously.

"No." I said. There was no way I was going to make that kind of a mistake. If she was lying about only wanting to talk, then I would be in some serious danger. "Come out slowly, with your arms in the air, or I won't even consider talking to you."

She was silent for a few minutes, most likely she was having an argument with herself on weather whatever she needed to talk to me about was worth the risk. I guess it was. She sighed, "Just promise me you won't shoot me, okay?"

"Why should you believe my word?"

"I know who you are, I know you wouldn't go against your own word once you've given it." She told me.

The fact that she _knew_ me didn't set my mind at ease. I didn't have many friends (none, actually.) and I probably gained more than just a few enemies in my time. But as long as she didn't pull a blaster on me, I guess promising her I wouldn't shoot first wasn't asking much. "Fine, but don't pull any funny business, alright? Or I _will _shoot." I certainly had no qualms with shooting first, not when I absolutely had to.

She slowly began to inch her way from behind the tree, with her arms in the air, like I had told her. She was a small woman (if you could even call her a woman, she was very young), both in height and in physique. She looked like she would blow away if the wind blew too hard. Her skin was too pale and even toned for her to have been raised anywhere other than upper class Coruscant. And her hair was the lightest shade of blond I had ever seen before. It was practically white. She was wearing a Galactic Alliance uniform, and I could hardly believe someone like she would have what it takes to be a part of the military. As far as I could remember, I had never seen this girl before in my life. Why she would be looking for me, I have no idea.

She chuckled uncomfortably, "You sure are your father's daughter, huh?"

I deemed her as no threat so I slowly put my blaster away, "You don't know anything about me. Or my family." I told her, a bit more roughly than was needed. She flinched. I continued on briskly, "Well, let's keep this brief. What is it you wanted to talk to me about?"

She looked cautiously around us, "Don't you think we should talk about this... someplace else?" She looked at the dead bodies around us and blanched.

So she was squeamish too. It was becoming even harder to believe she was part of the military, but for some reason I felt for the girl. Instead of forcing her to stay, I sighed, "Fine, follow me."

She did as I said and I leaded her back to the cantina I had been staying at. We sat down at the bar and I motioned to the barkeep to pour us some drinks. He placed two bottles in front of us before leaving to service some other customer.

I grabbed the bottle and took a drink, before looking over to the girl. I probably should have checked if she was even old enough to drink. She hadn't spoken a word this whole way, and now she was staring at the drink with slight disgust on her face. "So." I said bring her attention to me, "What do you want?"

She cleared her throat, "I'm here on behalf of Admiral Onasi." Her voice took on a serious business tone. She must have expected some type of reaction from me, perhaps a more serious behavior, but she got none from me.

"Never heard of him." I said as I took another drink. I had known all the Admiral's during the Mandalorian Wars, so he must have come after I was exiled.

She looked shocked, "Oh, well, um, I guess you wouldn't have..." She looked so uncomfortable and her tone began to loose it's business edge to it.

"So what business does he have with me?"

She looked flustered, "Well, you see, it's not really you he's looking for."

I put my drink down, "Then why are you here?" I asked, starting to get annoyed.

"I'm sorry, that's not what I meant to say." She hurried up, getting more and more flustered, "He's looking for you on behalf of a friend of his. Someone close to them disappeared, and well, aside from themselves, you're the only person who was close to the person."

"The person who disappeared?" I asked to clarify. She nodded. "Does this _person _have a name?" I asked.

She took a swig of her drink, and nearly gagged, "Revan." She said between coughing spasms. "They were hoping you could give them some type of information on him, something they don't know." I wasn't paying attention to her anymore.

That name sent shock waves through my body. Unpleasant ones. I hadn't thought of Revan since the Mandalorian wars, and I tried my hardest never to. I don't know why this Admiral would think I would know where Revan was, I hadn't spoken to Revan since before the wars ended. Especially not in the past ten years during my exile.

I stood up abruptly, taking the woman by surprise. I threw some credits down on to the bar, "Sorry, can't help." I started to leave.

"Wait! You can't just-" She jumped up as quick as she could and nearly fell over her own feet to catch up with me. "You can't just leave like this. Do you have any idea how long it took for me to track you down?"

"Don't know, don't care." I told her as I pushed past her, determined to leave.

"Please!" The desperation in her voice brought me to a still, "He told me to beg you if I had to. They need your help. They'll pay you, too. Whatever you want."

I turned slowly around to look at the girl, a little insulted that she thought I would be against helping them because they hadn't offered me credits. I couldn't care less about credits. "In case you haven't heard already, I'm not exactly welcome around those parts. Exile and all, you know."

"The Admiral said he would take care of that, if you'll just help them."

I sighed, "I... I don't think I'll be any help."

She got excited since I was no longer saying no, "You could be! More than you think, actually."

The idea of going home to Coruscant excited me, but terrified me at the same time. I wanted so badly to see my family again. To hear my parents bickering, my mother calling my father a nerf herder. To listen to my brothers blab on endlessly about something completely ridiculous and pointless. Oh goodness, how grown up Anakin would be now. It would be surreal to look at my baby brother all grown up...

But there was so much left unsaid between my family and I. So much I wish I knew how to apologize for. If they would even talk to me in the first place.

The girl babbled on, "I don't know all the details about Revan's disappearance, but I do know that it was something they kept hush about until recently. Not even the Admiral knew the details until recently, and he knew without a doubt you could somehow help them."

"I can't." I told her quietly. I just couldn't face my past, yet.

The excited look on her face dropped, and was replaced with anger. I think she could tell why I was so unwilling to help. And she thought it was selfish, "I can't believe this." She pushed past me. She froze at the door, "You know," She said as she swiveled around to look at me, "When I was in basic training all people could talk about was you. How brave and selfless you were. How heroic you were during the war."

"There's nothing heroic about war." I told her bitterly.

She laughed, although not happily, "You're right. _People _are. And you're a miserable disappointment. The Alliance needs you. Your friend needs you. And this is how the brave general acts. How pathetic." She turned to leave again.

Her words were like icy knives. I knew she was right. I was acting like a coward. Letting my own fears keep me from doing what was right. Something was going on in the Alliance right now, and they needed a hero. They needed Revan. And they needed me to help them find him. So even though I really wanted to let her storm off and leave me in peace, I knew I couldn't. "Wait!" I called to her. "I'll help, okay? I can't promise I'll be any great help, but I'll do what I can, okay?"

The anger on her face started to fade, "Good." She said cautiously, "I have a shuttle waiting for us to take us to the Harbinger, we should go whenever you're ready."

"Fantastic." I muttered to myself as I pushed past her. I already had all my things with me, so we might as well get this journey over with. "Well, come on, don't have all day."

She took a moment to take in my change of behavior, and quickly hurried to catch up with me. She seemed to be busting with questions for me, but thankfully thought better to hold her tongue. I'm sure she was nice enough, but I really didn't feel like getting chummy with anyone. As we were walking down the empty streets, we both kept to ourselves. Neither of us spoke. I because I simply did not want to, she because I think she wasn't sure what to say or _how _to say it. She continued to fidget with her uniform and look everywhere except at me. Occasionally she would shoot looks at me when she thought I wasn't paying attention, but other than that she kept to herself.

At first it didn't bother me, but it really did wear on me as the minutes passed by slowly. After the millionth time she stared at me, I finally stopped, "Oh for the love of-" She jumped at my unexpected stop and words, I gave her a tired look, "Stop staring, just say it already. Whatever it is, just get it out there."

"Why did you leave?" She asked quickly, spurred by my words.

"You know why," I told her, "I was exiled. I couldn't stay in the Alliance."

"Well," She said slowly, "You were only exiled from the order, no one could have forced you to leave. I mean, Revan was allowed to stay. He stayed on Coruscant, and even got married and started a family." She told me, "It just seems strange that you left."

I huffed, "It's not strange at all," I said, getting irritated that she was digging into my past. What did she understand? She was no Jedi. She wasn't in the wars, she hasn't gone through what I have, or saw what I have. She could never understand my reasoning. "The council deemed me an exile. I trusted and listened to their judgment. I did what was right."

She was silent for a moment, "...You did what was _expected_, not necessarily what was right."

I stopped unexpectedly, and she stopped with me. How could she question my decisions? She had no right. "Why are you even asking? You couldn't possibly understand my reasons."

She seemed surprised by my short rough tone, "I'm sorry!" She apologized quickly, "I just-" She was cut off my a rancor roaring. I spun around as fast as I could, but I wasn't fast enough. Just as I was pulling out my blasters, it rammed into my side and sent me flying into the bushes to our side. The sheer unexpectedness of it was enough to take my breath away. The blunt force just added a severe pain to my ribs. The sharp pains coming from spots on my side told me at least three ribs were broken. I gasped desperately to regain my breath. I dragged myself out of the bushes, my arm protesting against it, as quickly as I could. Every second that I wasted dazed could be my last.

The ground shook under the heavy steps of the rancor. I looked at the girl, "Run." I ordered her as I pulled out my blasters.

She gave me an irritated look as she pulled out her own. Her eyes were screaming with terror, but she stood strong, "There's no way I'm leaving you to face this alone."

The rancor glared at us with it's cold beady eyes. It was at least three times the size of us. Saliva dripped down off of its sharp fangs. I didn't even want to think of the odds of surviving this encounter right now. They would definitely not be in our favor.

Knowing that now was hardly the time to argue, I ignored my instincts to get her out of harms way. It was her life, not mine. I signaled for her to take its right as I look its left.

The young woman proved to be more useful than I though. What she lacked in bulk she made up for in speed and agility. Her body moved like a nexu's. Quick and efficient. It was almost like she switched into a different mind. There was no hesitation in her moves. Very different from the woman I met earlier.

With my broken ribs, I was hardly any help. I did my best by simply standing and shooting my blasters. If it hadn't been for the woman, whose name I didn't even know, I would have been dead for sure.

The rancor turned its attention to me, and in that moment I thought for sure I was dead. It took a step towards me, but before it could attack the woman jumped onto its back. It reared back in surprise and clawed for her. But its small arms could not reach her. She climbed her way up its back and onto its neck. When she managed to steady herself she pulled out her blasters and shot it twice right on the spot between its neck and its head.

The rancor went down with a satisfying thud. The woman jumped off of its back and landed in a roll in front of me.

I looked away from the rancors dead body and over to the woman. The images of her wrapping around the rancor and practically bringing it down on her own flashed to mind. I stared in wonder at how tiny yet lethal she actually was as I struggled to recapture my breath, "Where the hell did you learn to move like that?" I gasped out.

The adrenaline from the fight had her buzzing with energy. She was smiling brilliantly at me, "You think you're the only soldier?" She laughed, "This uniform isn't just for show, you know." A part of her smile seemed to dim considerably as something flashed across her eyes. Her eyes flashed to my arm, "Hey, you're bleeding."

She reached over to my arm and I felt a spike of pain flash throughout my body. There was something strange happening. I could see my arm ripped open from elbow to wrist, yet I couldn't feel it at all. I should have been in excruciating pain. It couldn't be the effects from the adrenaline, that would have let up by now. And I was still struggling to recapture my breath.

I had never felt like this before. It was extremely unusual. My entire body was turning numb. My head began to feel light, "Something is not right..." I could barely move my mouth enough to speak. I took another look at my arm and noticed, for the first time, the distinct presence of green puss forming around the edges. There were particles of some type of leaf in the wound, that looked strangely familiar.

I looked over to the bushes that I went flying into when the rancor ran into me. Suddenly everything made sense. My inability to catch my breath, my disorientation, and numbness; they were all side affects of poison. I hadn't noticed the bushes when I pushed myself out of them, after all I hadn't even noticed my arm was ripped open, but now upon looking at them again I recognized them almost immediately.

Sulfurous bushes. Master Kavar had kept quite a few of them in the restricted section of the temple's garden on Dantooine. He had always had a knack for gardening, and as a close student of his, I had spent a lot of time in that garden with him. I could still remember the day he warned me about the Sulfurous bushes, he had made sure to stress the seriousness of their toxicity. They were poisonous just to the touch. And the effects were almost instantaneous. They could cause paralysis, blindness, and if not treated immediately, death. "Sith's blood." I cursed almost unintelligibly, the numbness was stretching across my entire body now. I lost my ability to continue standing. If the woman had not been with me I would have crashed to the ground. She held me up off the ground, "What's wrong?" She asked me frantically.

I tried to reply, but my body was completely refusing to respond to me. I looked towards the bushes, and with every bit of strength in me, I managed to force out one single word, "Poison."

Just as the world turned black I could hear her barking out orders, "Don't you die on me, damn it! I've worked too hard to find you! Don't you dare die!"

* * *

**AN.**

****Hi, everybody! Sorry it took so long to update. I recently returned to school, and I've been working on an original story that I would like to one day publish. I've been working on tweeking everything in this story, too. I'm trying to not make it entirely like the video game, so it's a bit more interesting to read, but also I want it to still retain the same feeling as the video game, you know?

I figured no one really focuses on the exile _before _the video game starts, so this was my headcanon of what her life was before. The next chapter she'll be on the Harbinger, and then she should be on Peragus during the third chapter.

If you have any questions, feel free to ask! I'll be happy to answer. This chapter is a little over 5,000 words, and I'm going to try to make all chapters this long, if not longer.


	3. Chapter 3

The next few hours passed in a painful haze. Once, I managed to wake briefly and I found myself in the middle of med lab, with a handful of doctors swarming around me. They gave me shots of different colored liquids. I didn't know what they were, but they dulled the piercing pain in my shoulder and ribs to a minor, manageable pain. I had definitely had worse, and I would face worse later with no doubt. Eventually the medication would fully pull me under once more and I was out for more hours.

I woke again, unsure of how long I had been out for. I still felt a little out of it, and had no idea of where I was. Through the haze I tried to shake off, I managed to check out my surroundings. The med lab was a standard issue sized med lab for the Alliance. Kolto tanks lined the walls with cots spread out between them. A few med droids floated from tank to tank checking on the sick. There were no doctors in sight.

I tried to sit up, but the tubes connected to my arms held me back. Out of nowhere a med droid appeared next to me. It's cold metal hand pushed me back down onto the cot.

I wanted to fight against it, but the drugs they had injected me with were a lot stronger than I was expecting.

"Where am I?" I managed to croak out to the small silver med droid hovering silently next to me.

"Patient four eleven six is in the Harbinger med lab," the monotone droid replied to me, "Patient four eleven six has sustained multiple outer contusions, a splintered rib and was suffering from the poison of the Sulfurous bush leaves. Patient four eleven six is expected to make full recovery. Shortness of breath and slight disorientation is to be expected by the patient."

"Thanks for the update, _doc_, I don't suppose there's a human around here I could talk to is there?" I grumbled, definitely not in the mood to hear my medical chart from a droid. The droid ignored my inquiry, perhaps not liking my attitude, and began to silently leave me by myself again.

"Hey!" I shouted, "Don't just float away from me, I asked you a question."

The door to the med lab slid open, revealing the same young woman from before, "Somebody doesn't seem very cheerful this morning." She remarked dryly. She had changed out of her formal uniform and was now in the standard issue blue uniform that all Alliance soldiers wear. Her pale white hair was no longer falling around her face, but now pulled into a low pony.

"It's not my fault the bedside service here sucks."

She chuckled, "You'd think you would be a little more gracious, after all we did save your life."

I cringed at the screeching of the metal chair she pulled up and over to my cot, "I'm sorry, which of the three blurry shapes should I be thanking for leaving me in such a disoriented mess?"

She rolled her icy blue eyes, "I'm going to pretend that's the pain talking."

"Pretend what you want, doesn't change reality."

"Well somebody's certainly got their claws out." I could tell she was trying her best not to let my attitude get to her, but my smart mouth was starting to wear on her nerves. I found that strangely comforting.

"Guess the whole 'nearly dying' thing doesn't bring out the best of me." I grinned.

"Maybe we should change the subject?"

"Be my guest, the floors all yours." I waved my hand sarcastically.

She crossed her legs and otherwise ignored my attitude, "We just entered Alliance space, we should reach Coruscant in two standard weeks."

I resisted the urge to grimace, "Perfect, I can just imagine the welcome home party now. A nice set of stun cuffs and a comfy, permacrete cell. I hope you don't expect them to welcome me back with open arms."

Her eyes hardened, ever so slightly, "Maybe the Jedi won't, but they're not our concern. They aren't exactly high on our approval list at the moment."

"Stepping on toes, are they? It's what they do best." I told her, "Who did the council manage to piss off this time?" I asked lightly, trying to seem uninterested in whatever the news might be. Jedi and politicians, the fun never ended with them.

"Do you actually want to know or are you just trying to avoid talking about the obvious problem you have with going back to Coruscant?"

"I don't have a problem with Coruscant," I snapped, "It's the prison sentence I'm going to face if I break the terms of my exile that I have a problem with."

She took my short tone as a warning and backed off, "So temperamental. I thought Jedi were supposed to be the peaceful, calm types."

"Well I wasn't exiled for nothing, you know." I tried to shift myself into a more comfortable position, but my body didn't want to cooperate. I had never been on a more uncomfortable cot than this one. I hope this wasn't a sign of what kind of quality the Alliance was in.

"Don't you want to visit your family? You haven't seen them in over a decade."

"No offense, but I don't really want to talk about my family with a complete stranger, if you don't mind." If I didn't get out of this cot soon, I was actually going to snap.

"Not at all, but you should really work on those issues of yours because whether or not you like it, you're gonna be on Coruscant in less than a month, and you're going to have to face it then."

"Are you going to stand there and lecture me all day or are you going to actually help me out of this annoying cot?" I asked her as I threw the covers off of my body and yanked the tubes protruding from my arms.

"I don't think you're supposed to leave yet, you took quite the beating."

"I'm tougher than I look. Maybe you understand that." Taking down a rancor wasn't something just anybody could do. Even a Jedi broke a sweat when faced with those beasts. Maybe my self imposed guide was more than her dainty appearance suggested.

She nodded, "Even so, I don't think I would be quite ready to be up and moving after all that."

"Well, that's the difference between you and me then isn't it?"

I tried to sit up again. The world shifted and I fell back onto the cot with a thud. The dainty woman moved to help me sit up, "I'm going to go find a doctor, if you promise to sit still 'till I get back, I'll see what I can do about moving you to your quarters."

"Thanks a bunch." I sarcastically grinned to her, "Don't rush or anything, I'll just stay here and rot."

"So dramatic too," She called over her shoulder as she walked out, "I get why they kicked you out now."

The door slid shut behind her when I called out, "Ha-ha!" I rolled my eyes, "Everybody thinks they're a comedian."

The minutes passed by slowly and even though I really wanted to prove I wanted out of the bed, I was also freezing. So instead of foolishly allowing myself to suffer, I sucked up my pride and pulled the covers back onto myself.

Eventually the reality of my situation started to sink in. I was in the Alliance right now, on an Alliance starship, surrounded by Alliance soldiers. I had spent the better part of the past decade unable to face returning to the Alliance, yet somehow I had passed over the line while unconscious and was heading directly back to one of the few places in the galaxy I never wanted to see again. Somehow I managed to remained unchanged as well. The boundary line hadn't somehow altered me as I had once treated it as if it would.

The pounding in my head made me feel very out of sorts. I closed my eyes, hoping to calm the raging world. It didn't help very much at all, if anything I felt worse.

Maybe getting up wouldn't be such a great idea after all.

Where was the Doctor in this place?

A few more minutes passed before the door slid back open. The blond woman walked in, followed by a dark skinned woman wearing white scrubs. She looked at me and smiled, "Good morning, I'm doctor Fey'soo. I'll be handling your case personally from now on out."

"Thank the Goddess." I muttered, "Please tell me you're here to take me someplace else?"

"We'll try our best, General Solo." The doctor told me as she checked my vitals.

"It's just Jaina now. I retired from the rank of General a long time ago."

"If you wish," She answered me absentmindedly, "How are you feeling right now, Jaina?"

"Like I nearly died."

The blonde gave me an exhausted look, "That's not helpful."

"Well neither is this cot."

"If you answer the doctor's questions, then I promise you'll get your change of scenery you so desperately desire."

"Fine."

I cooperated for the next ten minutes, and just as she promised, she helped me up from the cot.

My legs, thankfully, were in one piece and only a little sore so walking wasn't too hard. Before we could leave, doctor Fey'soo stopped us. She handed me a small wrist pad.

"Keep this on you at all times. Not only is it important for identification, but if you connect it to any medical terminal, the terminal will be able to read your medical charts and administer your medication. I doubt you should need too much, so for now I have it set to give you one dosage a day for the next nine days. If the pain is still there, come back and I'll check you out again."

"Thanks, doc. You're a lifesaver."

She smiled and we shook hands.

Finally the woman and I set off to my quarters. Walking helped more than I had originally thought. My sight came in and out of focus occasionally, but I managed not to walk into any walls, so I considered it a success anyways.

"How far away is my quarters from here?" I asked her, realizing for the first time I still didn't know her name.

"_Our _quarters aren't too far at all." She replied as we walked down the grey metal halls. We passed a few other soldiers along the way. Some were very young and paid us no heed. Others, ones who were much older, and had the look of a seasoned soldier about them, would stare at us, or rather at me, in disbelief. As if they were unsure if I were actually there.

I tried to ignore the looks. Instead I focused on my conversation.

"So, bunkmates, are we? Guess then I better learn your name. Things might get awkward if I have to refer to you as 'that one blonde' all the time."

She laughed, "I've had to put up with your sass all morning and you don't even know my name? You sure know how to make a girl feel special."

"Sorry, I just figured we had more important things to focus on at first." I shrugged.

"Dara." She said, "Dara Emorura. I don't know if you'll remember it in the morning though. You're drugged up more than a spice addict at the moment."

"I am not!" I said with an indignant air. The world shifted as if to prove Dara right.

She caught my arm and helped me regain my balance, "Oh no, you're right. You're perfectly fine."

"I don't appreciate the sarcasm."

"Now you know how I feel."

As she started to slow infront of a door that I assumed was the door to our quarters, I looked over to her, "Can I ask you something?"

"I'm here to help, I'll try to answer what I can."

I stopped walking, needing just a slight break to catch my breath. Dara stopped with me and waited patiently for me to be ready. "What happened while I was exiled? Why is the Alliance so determined to have me back now, after all this time?"

She was silent for a long stretch of time, almost as if she didn't want answer me, "So much has happened these past ten years..." She eventually said slowly, "I'm not sure if I should be the one to tell you."

I rubbed my aching shoulder, "And I'm not sure if I want to walk into a situation without all of the information beforehand."

She still remained silent.

I sighed, "At least explain why this Admiral is looking for Revan. The last time I was in the Alliance, Revan was the Council's enemy number one. I figured he'd be exiled like I was, or worse." Jedi might not kill their prisoners, but the hostility I had felt at my trial... It had been suffocating.

"He wasn't punished at all to the best of my knowledge. But that was mostly because he returned from the Jedi Civil War as a hero."

"War? What war? Jedi's don't have wars." We started walking again.

She laughed, "Don't you though? Jedi, Sith, the same thing with different names. At least that's how the galaxy sees it."

I ignored her condescending tone and chose instead to push the topic forward, "That still doesn't answer my question."

She stopped in front of a door and slid her wrist pad in front of the scanner to the door. It slid open to our spacious cabin, and she sighed, "Basically after the Jedi returned from the Mandalorian Wars, they were changed. They declared war on the council, and the soldiers that they had fought side by side against the Mandos with, followed their lead. Revan and Malak's crusade nearly destroyed the Alliance."

That was absolutely impossible. That wasn't the Revan that I knew at all, "What changed?"

Dara shrugged, "Who knows? There are rumors all across the galaxy about it. But near the end of the war, when the odds were not in our favor, Revan switched sides. He turned against Malak, though I've heard that Malak turned against him first, and nearly brought the war to an end single handedly."

"Nearly?"

"Revan's companions were a big factor. Bastila Shan, an older Jedi, Bindo, I think his name was, two droids, a wookie, a twi'lek, and even our Admiral, Carth Onasi." She smiled, "I think there were some other people, but I forget their names. Together they faced unbelievable odds, and actually walked away as victors. It was a great day for the Alliance, but it didn't last long."

"Revan disappeared. Jedi started to die. Planets were destroyed. Politics went insane. Basically, the galaxy went to hell." She laughed, "Figures too, as soon as we fix one leak, a flood hits."

"Jedi were dying?" My mind flashed to my family. Were they okay? "Of what?"

"Your guess is as good as mine." She sat down on one of the two beds occupying our room while I remained standing, "It's been mostly contained to the outer rim, but the threat could still grow to the core planets. I don't know what we'll do if it does."

"So the enclave on Dantooine..."

"Gone," She said.

"Gone?" I echoed.

"During the war Malak bombarded the enclave. Nearly destroyed the whole immediate area."

The image of Alek crossed my mind. I hadn't as close to him as I was Revan, but I had never thought him capable of such carnage. Like me, he had practically grown up at the enclave on Dantooine. It was an extremely peaceful place, they had no heavy artillery, and the enclave was used to train younglings, it wasn't like the Jedi Knights were there, or hardly any masters. Destroying the Enclave served no other purpose than to show how truly lost and beyond redemption Malak was.

"Not many fans of Jedi left on Dantooine, not that you can really blame them."

"No, I guess you can't." I muttered, far too distracted by my own thoughts to pay much attention to Dara.

How could Revan declare war on the council in the first place? Revan had never held contempt against the council, not like Alek had, not even like I had. Revan wasn't that kind of a person.

A memory, from years and years before crossed my mind, and it was as if I was there all over again.

It was just after the battle of Tob'ruk. We had won, but only just barely.

_The smell of smoke and blood floated throughout the wind blowing persistently across my face. The echos of death echoed around me, but it was almost muted, I barely paid it any heed. _

_Not like it was in the beginning, when all of the death was like a stab at my own self. That would echo within me for hours upon endless hours. Now it was easy to almost ignore the carnage._

_Sometimes, it seemed like it was the only way to survive._

_This battle had been the worst so far. I knew both the planet and its people would not recover for many years. Neither would the family of the people we lost, and we had lost a lot of people. Good people. Good soldiers. Good Jedi._

_People that had become like family to me and, unlike my 'real' family, had stood by what was right and stood with me against the threat of the Mandalorians._

_The Force was screaming out around me, crying in pain, demanding to be listened to. It was disorienting. I took a breath, trying to calm my frazzled mind. Cautiously I opened my self to the force, but tried to be prepared for the onslaught of chaos the force would bring._

"_General." The voice of a young blue skinned Iridonian broke through my pensive thoughts._

_I turned towards the mechanic, trying to forget what was trying so hard to push itself to the front of my mind, "Yes?"_

"_The Admiral has just landed. He wants to speak to you as soon as you are ready."_

"_Tell him I will be there soon. And send for an update of the Rogue Squadron. I saw Zekk take quite the hit back there, make sure they're all okay." I turned back to the burning, crumbling city that had stood perfect and tall not even a fortnight before. How many civilians had been lost within that time? How many families had been viciously torn apart by the Mandalorian scum?_

_There was only so much we could do with such limited resources. The Alliance was getting weaker by the days. Every moment we stayed in this pointless war against the Mandalorians the smaller and smaller our supplies became. The planets were becoming restless as well. They demanded our protection, but it was just impossible to protect every planet with the soldiers and ships we had. We were spread too thin. And the Mandalorians seemed to have unending forces._

_It would be even harder now after todays' battle. We had lost at least three of our Jedi, as if we had many to spare in the first place. Things were getting bleaker by the minute. Things would be so different if the council had decided to join us in the fight._ But no_, I thought, feeling my blood pressure rise. _They couldn't join us, _they said, _it was against Jedi code, _they preached from their high seats._

_Just thinking about their piss poor excuses made me want to spit. How could they call themselves Jedi Masters, yet be able to sit by and watch as millions were murdered by the Mandalorians? How could my family do the same?_

_Jacen, sure, I could understand that. He had always believed it wasn't a Jedi's place to use bloodshed to end bloodshed, but Uncle Luke? He had led the Rebels to victory in his youth, not to mention my own parents had been right there with him, always ready to put their family on the back burner in order to protect the innocent._

_And where were they now? Sitting safely on Coruscant, while we risked our lives to bring peace back to outer rim._

_Without thinking I had brought out my Holorecorder, my anger was like fire in my veins. As much as I tried to smother those dark feelings, it only seemed to make them stronger. It was a sign of weakness, I knew that. I was a Jedi Knight. I didn't allow such petty feelings like anger cloud my judgement, but I was young, and far from perfect._

_"__**Day three seventy- eight. Things are looking slightly better, depending on your point of view.**__" I spoke bitterly in to the recorder, "__**We've won the battle of Tob'ruk, but lost many on the way. Jedi knights Dee jar'yuk, Pollum, and Grace were lost along with nearly ten thousand troops injured or dead. Perhaps it's a fair trade. Death today, peace tomorrow.**_

_"__**The Force is restless out here, it mourns with the people of this planet. With all of the Alliance. But you couldn't understand. I doubt you can feel anything when you're propped so high on your council chair.**__" Taking a deep breath, I tried to settle myself. It worked, if only slightly. I was starting to notice that peace was getting harder to find with the Jedi teachings. Repeating the Jedi mantra only seemed to make me more agitated, more out of balance. I didn't like that at all, but with all the ill will I felt towards the council, I suppose it made sense._

_My eyes burned irritably, as I continued, but the anger in me had begun to fade. In its place it left something much worse, much darker, and much more empty. "__**I will never forgive you for this.**__" My voice cracked and I was forced to look away._

_Yes, I would definitely regret this tomorrow, I normally did._

_The long grass behind me began to rustle and I jumped in shock, never realizing that I was no longer alone. "Revan! I mean, Admiral." I saluted my old friend._

_Revan was as handsome as he always had been. While I felt like the war left me feeling haggard and old, it seemed to have the opposite effect on him. He seemed teeming with life and vitality. His eyes shined brighter than I had ever seen before._

_"I apologize, I let the time slip by me. What is it that you needed? Any news from Coruscant?" I had stopped asking about the council a long time ago, even though if I was honest, I had always hoped the council would change its mind and join us in the fight. _

_If they had, I wouldn't feel so out of place anymore, or at least that's what I had hoped._

_"No," Revan said, clearing his throat. I could feel through the force that he knew what I really had been wanting to ask about. He didn't enjoy being the bearer of bad news for me. "Unfortunately, I do not have news. I'm here to see you."_

_"Me?" I asked, "What for? Shouldn't you be coordinating attacks with the Imperial Remnant?"_

_"I've been feeling a... Disturbance in the Force. Alek believes I'm just being paranoid, but he is still young in so many ways. His connection to the Force is still growing, he isn't fully in tune with the galaxy. You, on the other hand, have always been gifted in the Force, even when you were a youngling. I thought perhaps you had been feeling something as well?" _

_I felt myself become uncomfortable in front of Revan. Should I have felt something in the Force? Was I losing my connection somehow?_

_I doubted the possibility that Revan was being paranoid. Revan was great leader, a strong and fearless Jedi, he wasn't one I associated with paranoia._

_Me, on the other hand, I had been feeling less in tune as usual. I didn't want Revan to think less of me for it either, but I couldn't lie. Not to him. _

_"I haven't felt anything, no, I'm sorry." I told him._

_His face shifted slightly in disappointment, "I see, perhaps Alek is right then."_

_"He might not be." I offered to him, wishing to make him feel less paranoid, "I haven't been feeling very on top of my game lately. You could be feeling something that I'm not."_

_"Perhaps, but I doubt it." He motioned for me to follow him, and I did. We headed back to my tent and he held open the flap for me. Once alone he asked, "How long have you been feeling this way?"_

_I shrugged, "I'm not really sure. It was a slow thing, like it just started slipping out from underneath me. The Force isn't a source of peace for me anymore."_

_Revan's face became contemplative._

_"What is it?" I asked him._

_"Nothing." He answered too quickly. He realized that too and sighed, "It's strange is all, that you should feel out of place just when I feel something off in the galaxy."_

_"You don't think I'm the disturbance you felt... Do you?" I didn't want to admit it, but I was slightly hurt by this. I was feeling distant from the council, from the life I was taught was the only right life to live, it didn't mean I was falling. I wouldn't fall. Not now, not ever._

_"Of course not!" He told me, but I didn't entirely believe him, "But you must admit it is strange timing. Perhaps they are interrelated?"_

"_I don't know, but now that I think about it, before I joined you, Uncle Luke talked about sensing a dark force rising. That could be what you're feeling."_

_Revan looked off to the side, deep in thought and stretching his Force senses out, "It could. I wish I could speak to him about it. It's nothing too urgent at the moment, but you can never be too safe. We could prepare better for it if I could speak with him."_

_I scoffed, "Don't expect any help from _them. _You're better off waiting for the Mandalorians to call a truce."_

_The acid in my voice brought Revan's attention back to me, "You have much hostility within you, Jane. It's not healthy for you at all."_

_I felt my anger deflate, "I know." I sighed._

"_I just... I can't understand why they would choose to stay out of the war. I've always been taught to protect the Alliance at all costs. That nothing matters more than the Alliance. Yet, when it came down to it, I'm the one fighting for the Alliance, while the rest of my so called family scorns me for it."_

_"You should try to remember that they only do so because that is what the Force tells them is right. Remember, we are only extensions of the Force, we do not control it. We jedi live to serve the Force, but we don't always agree on how that is done."_

_I stared at him, not able to believe him, "You can't actually be telling me you don't hold their inaction against them after everything you've seen. Do you have any idea the amount of carnage that has been wreaked upon the galaxy because of their inaction? We fight and we die while they sit by doing nothing, wearing the white hats of saints."_

_Revan considered his words carefully, "I don't... Agree with them or their choices, but I don't hold ill will against them."_

_I laughed, "You can't be serious. Nobody is that perfect. There has to be some dark seed in your heart somewhere."_

_Revan shook his head laughing, "You're right, nobody is perfect. I am far from being perfect. I just have realized that to hold anger against the council for doing what they believe is right, is wrong of me. If I were to hold it against them, it would make me no better than them."_

_Part of me wanted so badly to think as he did. He was so at peace with everything. If I saw things the way he did, perhaps I would feel more like he did about all of this. I wouldn't feel so lost. "I'll try to think of it like that from now on."_

_"That's all any of us can do." He gave me a reassuring smile. "Now, back to business. I want you to come with me to the Imperial coordination session. There's a young pilot, brilliant pilot really, who I think you should get to know. He could become quite the asset one day."_

_"Really? What's his name?"_

_"Fel, I think. Jagged Fel. He's a relation of Antilles, actually."_

The sound of Dara's voice brought me back to reality, "Seems like Revan's always been a mystery. People say he found something dark, out in the Unknown Regions, that only he and Malak ever knew about."

_That_ captured my interest. Revan had talked about sensing something dark coming. Had he been sensing himself? Or was it whatever he found out in the Unknown Regions? "What do you think they found?" I asked.

"No idea. And as long as Revan is missing, nobody ever will." She watched me carefully, "Some people say that he returned to the Unknown Regions. Searching out whatever it is he found the first time. Some people say that you know where that is."

She continued to watch me expectantly, maybe hoping to get the answers everybody seemed interested in. The only problem was, I didn't have those answers.

"Those people are wrong. I haven't spoken to Revan since before war ended. His location is every bit of a mystery to me as it is to you."

Her features shifted, as if she had lost some hope she had held in me, "I guess all is already lost."

"I wouldn't say that yet." I told her, "Revan has a knack for survival. If there's even a shred of the man I knew still inside of him, I'll find him." I headed over to my own bed and sat down. My shoulder was aching and I had a feeling the drugs were already starting to wear off. All I wanted to do now was sleep.

Dara looked at me from her bed and looked as if she were hesitating about something. It took her a few more moments to finally speak up, "Can I ask you something now?"

I situated myself upon the bed, "Shoot."

"Where have you been all this time? Ten years is a long time to spend on some back water world. You must have been to other planets."

I laughed, "I thought you were hired to track me down, how do you not know where I've been?"

"I was only put on your case a few months ago," she shrugged, "And I was given very little data to go on. I honestly have no idea how I found you so quickly. Luck, I suppose. This was the second tip I just happened to check out."

"Must have been luck," I murmured to myself, even though I had been taught there was no such thing as luck, only the Force, "I traveled all over the place. I've forgotten the names of what planets, though."

"How many were there?"

"Too many to count," I sighed. "I never stayed anywhere long. A week or two at the most, and even then I didn't like staying that long."

"For over ten years?" Shock colored her words, "That's amazing. You must have seen a lot."

"I did." And most of it I didn't want to remember.

"You know, a lot of people used to say that you went to the Imperial Remnant after you were exiled." She said matter of factly.

"You listen to too much gossip," I told her remembering how many times her sentences started with 'people said.'

She shrugged again, "It's sorta my job to listen to gossip. You try tracking down somebody who doesn't want to be found, and you'd hear just about every scenario possible reiterated as absolute gospel."

I laughed, "Still. The Imperial Remnant? What reason did I have to be there, of all places, for ten years?"

Her face reddened ever so lightly, "Well, there were quite a few rumors about you and a certain Imperial general getting particularly... Close." She held back a giggle.

My eyes shot open and stared at her, "What."

"You know. You and General Fel. It was all anybody could gossip about for awhile. They made you out to be star crossed lovers. I must admit I was a little disillusioned when I found out you two hadn't seen each other since long before the war even ended."

"Must have been a slow time for the gossip mills then, if that was the biggest thing at the time. I don't even know where they found the basis for that insanity." Jag and I had been close, no doubt. But I was never the type of girl who swooned over a guy. Besides, Jag was probably the most infuriating guy in the galaxy. Nobody could push my buttons like he did.

"I do."

I shot her a look, "You know nothing about my relationship with General Fel."

"Maybe not in the personal sense," she defended, "But I did meet the two of you once. It was probably the epitome of my childhood. You probably wouldn't remember, after all I was just a military brat." She chuckled, "You two were inseparable all night. Laughing and whispering to each other."

That must have been back while we were getting along. Still, that hardly seemed like enough to make us star crossed lovers.

"Well, despite that night," And a few others, if I was being honest, "Jag and I were just friends. That's all we ever were."


End file.
